#and I'm not gonna delete this sideblog!

[incomplete-ruler]

Uh oh I think I might actually start a ryuu roleplay blog

[royaltyfreeramblings]

do you ever have a character that you like a lot but the fandom won't stop talking abt. like every conversation regarding said media winds up involving them and somehow and neglects the rest of the characters present. like. i understand enjoying characters a lot!! but also... theres more to see there than just blorbo y'know

[thelegendofmrrager]

Oh I haven't been up till 4am hyperfixating since the trailer park boys days lads we're back in it now

[halfwayriight]

Yesterday was a really good day for me. My fave band is back and i'm happy. But my body is so tired lol, i need some good sleep 😃😴

[yonghoontual]

ok, friends! I'm moving on from this blog (my main, too). if you want to follow me, you can do that @wujucupid (there's like nothing on there yet, tho)!

[takethistoyourstardust]

might feed my sideblog addiction and make one for rora specifically so her lore is all in one place.

[wandering-free-and-queer]

.

[mishkakagehishka]

Maybe i should lay off the coffee

[mothbaaalls]

AUGH FUCK NO THE YEARNING

[yumenosakiacademy]

the SHEER amount of ppl i jus blocked in 1 sitting holy shit. It has 2 b like near 200 give or take.

[ace-malarky]

Or I could slam face first into burnout and nihilism, i guess that's also an option :I

doesn't help that the recording I have of the last dnd session (from the beginning of fucking january) only really has my voice and fucking like. whispers. of the party. so it's unusuable, of course. and like it's fine it was just a dungeon crawl there wasn't any plot relevance or whatever but I'm just. so tired.

but that really kinda fucked up my plans for writing yesterday haha

my main plan for November is to pile into even more scenes and also maybe that one DnD session I still haven't got around to writing lmao

no word count, just getting things done so we'll see

[were--ralph]

"I'm deleting my sideblog bc nsfw. Now I'm gonna rb a picture of an incineroar with his balls out on main"

yall complain about the porn ban then i put balls on your feed and you complain too

[butchbarneygumble]

Imagine how I must feel as one of the only fans of Mighty Magiswords. You know. A headcanons-and-fanfic kind of fan. I even cosplayed Prohyas once.

Of course, it's nothing compared to what the actual victims went through... I'm fine. But it still felt like a part of my identity has been permanently soured. I don't want to seem like I somehow have it worse, that's not my intention. Nothing bad happened to me personally. I'm only posting my own side of how I deal with the situation, to get some closure myself and show solidarity with the victims.

I don't admire him anymore, and that's putting it lightly.

Full story under cut. Content warning for non-graphic discussion of csa.

The news came to me from my ex-but-still-friend. He told me privately, out of nowhere, just dropped it on me. Like, "Hey, sorry to tell you, but the guy you like got arrested for csa". However, I am glad he told me rather than me having to find out on my own.

The news hit me, and I felt nothing in my body. I usually would get this painful fight-or-flight all through my body whenever I read something that upset me, something I've been training myself to get better with. But right now? I just felt like... "huh. That happened." It helped a lot that Magiswords wasn't my fixation of the moment. And like... it's been like I've been slipping away from it. Like I didn't need it anymore.

More and more people were talking about him, and it wasn't positive. Who? Kyle.

I talked to him. Personally, like many people did. He never acted weird to me. I admired him. I loved his art, sent him physical fanart, all that stuff. I knew more than one person said he was not trustworthy but hey, he made a show that saved my life, so it was a constant struggle between feeling like I had to pick sides. I was going through hell by virtue of my dad being terminally sick and needing constant care, so I was gonna ignore the red flags and enjoy my silly sword show that brought me such joy.

Even if as time went on it started get harder and harder.

But you know what a certain depressed horse show said? When you're wearing rose coloured glasses, red flags just look like flags.

I now think dodged a bullet.

What emotions do I feel? Betrayal. Anger. Disgust. Disappointment.

The irony about it all. The sheer painful irony of blacklisting somebody for *drawings*, and then going behind everybody's back to actually hoard *actual* csa, and revenge porn, and all sorts of nasty stuff. For the record: there is nothing wrong with being put off or disgusted by specific sorts of drawings. But the irony here is what's most painful to me. I do not like people using this as a "gotcha" for either side of this tired argument. It's disrespectful to the actual victims.

People say I can easily seperate art from the artist if I want to but... right now I don't think I want to. He's in every pore of its identity. I do not want to talk or think about Magiswords right now, and I don't know if I ever will again.

It meant so much to me. Prohyas felt like Me. Being a goofy capable adult who doesn't stop collecting things he likes just cuz he's an adult. I thought I was trans for a while and the euphoria of relating to Prohyas helped that. Then he got lowkey confirmed nonbinary and I was over the moon.

It was good. Emphasis on "was".

And to the man himself I have one thing to say: you're another one in a long history of cartoon artists who end up being unsavoury, slimy people, taking advantage of young people, especially girls, in the animation industry. Not something to be proud of. I know we talked and you seemed perfectly okay to me, personally. All I can think is thank god it never went beyond casual chats.

I guess I can finally say I never liked the joke about Vambre not liking pants. Sure, sensory issues exist, but I doubt that was the intention of the design. I have deleted my sideblog where I chronicled ooc screencaps of the show and deleted my little spotify playlist of songs that reminded me of the show. I don't want to finish my longfic where Prohyas and Flonk fell in love anymore. I can't even change it into ocs because it's just so ingrained in the show's lore. So yeah, there's that.

I'll be fine. When the news hit I took it surprisingly well. I was going to an Alestorm concert and it was the most fun I had in ages. So yeah, I've got Christopher Bowes and His Plate of Beans to fill the void of comedy music. Was fixating on Simpsons already so there's that in terms of cartoons. I'm fine.

All I can say is my heart goes out to all the victims, and I'm deeply sorry I didn't see you sooner. I hope you can heal and have some semblance of closure now that he's gotten arrested. My heart goes out to all of you and again, I am so so sorry. I wish you all the love and healing.

[hickeygender]

i think deleting and reinstalling the app fixed it?? i still can't see the few invisible reblogs on my old posts, but at least i'm getting more visible notifs on the app that match the little badge number on the notifs tab?

i'm getting like maybe half of my notifications!!!! i get some of the push notifications on my phone but a ton of them aren't in my activity page! i have asks in my inbox i didn't get notifications for, i've seen ghost reblogs on a lot of my posts, i don't remember seeing any of the last ten followers i've gained except for one, and that's just the shit i know about!!! if anyone has sent me messages or replied to my post or anything like that and I just ignored it, know that i am not ignoring you on purpose, this stupid app is keeping me from seeing it 🙃 gonna try logging out and logging back in again and then checking with my phone's browser if it's just the stupid app

[darkosomatsuconfessions]

hi. i run a decently popular ososan blog (well, it's a bit dead nowadays, but still), and i've been pretty vocally anti-blmatsu for its entire run. i've been diligent in keeping every post free of any of it, and that's not going to change anytime soon, for the sake of that blog's remaining follower base who rely on it being a safe space away from the proshipping, but...

well... i just made a blmatsu sideblog. and i've been feeling a lot of conflicting feelings about it and about my personal sense of morality considering my previously strong stance against it.

something simultaneously really funny and really sad to me is that i actually still don't ship or support incest shipping in any other fandom. (i've never supported harassment over any kind of shipping though. so idk if i count as an anti or more of a neutral party with a strong opinion? well i guess none of that matters now bc here i am, shipping blmatsu lmfao)

i still find incest to be morally wrong, but my hypocrite ass just... eats blmatsu up for breakfast lunch and dinner. i'm tired of fronting like i don't. how do i reconcile these conflicting beliefs? how can i be an anti and ship it at the same time? GOOD QUESTION, UHHH, LEMME GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT ONE IN LIKE... NEVER YEARS

i'm gonna put my inner conflict in a bottle and try really hard not to think about it <3

i've wrestled with myself about this for a while actually— i used to have another blmatsu blog, way back in the peak of the fandom, that i deleted out of guilt shortly before making my current main and taking my opposed stance to it. part of me still feels like an awful person for "sliding backwards" and taking part in something i previously thought i was "over".

i really don't even have a good defense for it, if im honest, so i won't even try. i've heard every argument against it because i used to make them. in the end, it just feels right to me that the only ones desperate enough to get with these losers are... these losers.

i could never ever endorse irl incest because i'm a victim of it, and i feel like that alone should have ensured i would never touch blmatsu!! it adds heaps to my guilt about all this, because i feel like in a way i could be failing my fellow victims... but seeing blmatsu art makes me just as happy as seeing platonic art of them does. i just keep coming back to it no matter how hard i try to repress it. it's practically unavoidable around here anyways, sooo...

sooo. i'm done repressing! if that makes me a bad person, then i'll see you in hell. oh yeah, and if you like karamatsu ships you should come follow me at todokaras on tumblr <3 (no, i'm not THAT todokaras, i just stole their name)

TL;DR: I run a blmatsu blog and an anti-blmatsu blog at the same time and i feel pretty guilty about it. oh the thrill of a double life

Congrats! It’s actually pretty common for antis to secretly like « problematic » things, because puritanism inherently goes against normal human behavior such as kinks and catharsis. It’s sad that we have to hide to avoid abuse and harassment, but that’s how it is for now.

Anyway, going against the shame a cult has pushed into you must be hard, but it’s great that you’re taking that first step to understand and express yourself free of shame!

I also feel honored that you came to my page to confess this ^^

[scummy-writes]

Hey! There's a lot of you here and we all have different day-to-day schedules, so I wanted to wave and talk to you about something.

This past month, I've been streaming on Twitch! You can find me under Scumberly! I have a cute pngtuber model that's a cyclops girl! 👁

Surprisingly, I've already gotten 23 followers thanks to friends and fellow ikemen simps being kind enough to do so, which is almost halfway to affiliate already! According to the site, I need 50 followers total to hit that, and then I can start trying to get emojis, polls, channel points, and being able to attempt getting monitization.

If you already have a twitch account, and you like the idea of having some background videos to listen to as you work on some tasks, or maybe watching me play some horror, otome, or visual novels seem up your alley, would you consider checking me out and seeing if you'd like to follow me? Those are the 'focus' genres, but I do plan to pretty much play anything that makes me excited/happy, to be transparent.

There's no pressure if you don't want to, or that you just simply don't have a twitch account. I'm just putting out a post for those who may have missed it! Thank you for anyone who does decide to stop by! 🙇‍♀️

This is in no way me saying I'm done with fanfic - I'm not, I literally blabbed to RJ all morning about Gilbert and we threw ideas back and forth at each other - this is just something I'm doing for fun. I promise I am still gonna write suckin and fuckin, but now it's inbetween streams and other projects!

If you DO already follow me there or just watch passively, here are some updates you might have missed:

- I started a VOD channel on youtube, since Twitch deletes vods after two weeks. You can find it here!

- I revamped my writing streams server into a general 'Scum Streams' server, where it updates when I go live on twitch. You can also suggest games there, hang out with others, or even join us for an 'after stream' text chat if we have more things to say after whatever we just played! To get in, you have to send me a DM on here, and it is 18+ just due to the nature of my blog.

- i DO have a sideblog for this, you can see it at @scumberly .